ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Randomize
