Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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