did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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