they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Randomize
