Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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