i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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