Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
she looked like the before picture.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
