I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
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