his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
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