Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
