you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
