That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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