We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
So many bounce houses so little time
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize