our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
