so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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