also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Be still, my beating vagina.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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