Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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