Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
