Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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