So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
