On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
