I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
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