3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I wish my penis had an off switch
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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