...so i touched it.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
