god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
