her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
