You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
