There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
