And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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