I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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