Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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