Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Randomize
