Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I licked your asshole in confidence.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
