You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
