Are we in a gay sports bar?
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
