I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
