Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
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