Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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