im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
