How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Randomize
