Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Randomize
