Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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