he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Fuck me I smell like cheese
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
