hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
