That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
