So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Dicks are not precious.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize