drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
