Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
