My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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