Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Randomize
