Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
