are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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