hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
