"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
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