At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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