You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
