I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
