hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
