Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Randomize
