The maid of honor just puked.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
