so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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