hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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